zondag 29 januari 2017

Sunday

22:22 | 29th of January 2017

Today was okay.

I studied all day, actually stuck to my planning for more than 90%, I ate less than 900 calories, i didn't binge and or purge. my lowest point would be the 2 cacao orange Nakd bars (270).
My period started today, actually, so im starting to bloat terribly. makes me think im actually pregnant.

3 weeks left. im gonna cry. im also gonna try and give it my all because that's the least i should give.


four tests left. go


Intro


I figured that with MPA dying slowly but surely, I should make an accountability on blogspot because it'd be more stable. I always struggle with accountabilities and this one probably won't be seen by anyone, which (unfortunately) reduces the pressure but (fortunately) cuts down on the stress. The need to update everyday is not necessarily bad, but in the end it should come from within, right? Only then you can confirm you're in this deal you made with yourself.


Although I have a (hand-written) diary, I like to share my stuff on the internet as well. 
People who want to read something about you, will read it. If not, there's not fuss. No forcing someone to listen to you drama or whatever. I probably sound like a bitch with high standards but i'd rather have someone listen to my thoughts with full interest and attentiveness than someone who just listens with 1/7 of their attention span and later on some random day asks, in public surrounded with 5 other acquaintances, 'hey how's that eating disorder/depression/suicidal plan goin' for ya?'

That's what I'll be sharing mainly on this blog. My view on life, which is heavily influenced by my ED, my depression and my crippling self-esteem.

ynq